OK so they broke my water and in came HEAVY CONTRACTIONS AND INSTANT PAIN! Contractions about a minute apart sometimes less, and more pain than I've ever experienced in my life. They're horrible. I can't breath, I just want to cry. I'm covered in sweat, it's the worst thing I've ever had to endure. I can't get beyond the pain, and the epidural isn't doing anything. I FEEL EVERYTHING! I don't know what I would have done without my doula. She was such a huge help in getting me to breath, focus and just push thru to the end.
Apparently they never got my epidural up to full drip because I'm having such a bad reaction to it. Part of it is mental, I was sent into a panic every time they give me more. I keep having anxiety attacks and freaking out, which is causing me to pass out and vomit. I think the epidural is in the wrong spot. The epidural numbs my lungs and makes me feel like I'm underwater or something, I'm literally suffocating. I can't tell if I'm breathing or not and so I start to hyperventilate, so they hadn't given me any more. Anesthesiologist just came in and upped me a little bit so I 'm not in such bad pain. I also suddenly have a new feeling in my rectum area.. Best I can say is it's a horrible grinding on my tailbone area like I'm sitting on a concrete floor rubbing my butt around. Horrible terrible pressure that I can't even describe, and I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PUSH LETS GOOOOOO!
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